There is nothing more this sick chick loves than a new beginning. As you can imagine, I am pretty psyched for the ultimate new beginning–New Year’s Day. However, before I get into all the fun new, it’s time to close out some of the old. I don’t want to be carrying old, worn-out, no-longer-applies-here <stuff> with me into my new year. As such, I’ve got a fair amount to process before then.
It so happens that another thing I really love is that snow-queen from Frozen. Queen Elsa and I have a lot in common (at least I think so) and she’s pretty good at giving advice- namely to Let it Gooooooooooo!
I know some of you are probably sick of the song.
I am not one of those people.
If you happen to pay attention to the lyrics, Elsa is dishing out some pretty big ideas in shiny Disney packaging and a lot of them apply to my closing out 2014. So, without further ado, Elsa, please take it away:
(for full lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/idinamenzel/letitgo.html I’m going to cherry pick for my own purposes…)
A kingdom of isolation/and it looks like I’m the Queen.
Yeah, this is something I don’t need anymore. Isolation was ok (#NotReallyOk) when I was in crisis mode and lived like a survivalist in my bedroom. So I got to be the Queen of that dreary reality. It did not make it fun. It’s a coincidence that this is one of the first lines of the song, because this is the first thing I’m not going to take with me to 2015. See you later kingdom of isolation. I’ve got 71 awesome blog followers and a whole bunch of truly wonderful friends and family members. Get yourself a new queen.
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know/Well now they know!
Hi. If you’re just joining us, I’m Nic and I have multiple chronic illnesses. You can’t see them by looking at me (mostly…unless I’ve polymorphous-light-erupted all over the place) but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. If you’ve been here before, you know this already. Again, if you haven’t, now you do.
Now they know.
Concealing is not my thing anymore.
Also, I don’t care what they’re going to say.
It’s funny how some distance/makes everything feel small/and the fears that once controlled me/can’t get to me at all.
Yep, check. At the beginning of 2014, I was still trying to figure out if I should blog or not. If you go back and read my very first post (https://iamchronicallywell.com/2014/06/16/here-goes-something/) I tell a crummy story about a jerk who made me feel bad about my illness, and I used this story as an example of why I was afraid to start blogging. I thought that the Internet would fling metaphorical poop at me, and having had actual poop chucked in my direction once was quite enough. Fast forward 6 (!!!) months to now, and I can definitively say there has been no poop flinging; instead it’s more like flowers and sunshine and rainbows, all of which I happen to be a major fan of. So yes, the distance I have from it now makes it seem pretty small, and those fears definitely don’t control me any more.
It’s time to see what I can do/ to test the limits and break through!
I started running this year.
I think my head exploded, just a little bit.
2015 is my time to keep on testing all the things I thought to be true of myself as a Chronic, because I learned this year that maybe not everything I believed about it was as accurate as I thought.
Here I stand/and here I’ll stay.
It has been 6 months since my last fainting/blackout/loss of consciousness. Before that, it had been somewhere close to 6 months since the previous one. This is a direction I would like to keep going in-you know, an upright one. I’ll leave fainting in my past, thank you.
Let the storm rage on/the cold never bothered me anyway!
My body’s always going to have some sort of storm raging. I get that. What I’ve only just recently figured out is that the cold doesn’t have to bother me (at least not so much!). I can breathe my way through it with biofeedback techniques, I can remind myself that it is only temporary and clear skies are up ahead. I can call on any one of those lovely friends, family, or followers I talked about earlier to help me through it. I’ll go ahead and leave the “bother” behind!
Now if only I could get down that whole “here I stand in the light of day” part under control, I’d be set. The sun and I are still working out our differences. We’ll get there, I’m sure of it. #PMLE
Let it Gooooooo!
What are you letting go of this year before we move into the next? Does this song and it’s lyrics apply to you? I’d love to hear about it!
I hope you all have a wonderful New Year’s, Chronic Readers. I’d like to THANK YOU all oh so much for giving me such a great year. In the past six months, I AM CHRONICALLY WELL has been viewed over 5,000 times in 74 countries. That totally blows my mind and I am truly grateful for everyone’s love and support. I send it all right back to you! *HUGS*