I’m Acute Sick.

It might be cute, but it sure ain’t pretty.

Acute sick is weird. I am more likely to think that I am on death’s door when my throat is sore than I am when say, my toes and ankles look like I got donor extremities from Poppa Smurf. #POTSFeet

Not a lot makes sense when you don’t feel well. Clearly, your body is otherwise occupied, by you know, fighting space invaders that are causing you to drip from all your facial orifices.

But I want to write my blog and not skip it!

So, here you go, these are the random musings, I mean, “notes” that I wrote for this blog on my iPhone Notes app:

~There is a crow living on our roof. He is gigantic. Like a mutant crow, and he’s taken up residence somewhere in our chimney. Is the flue closed? Is it even possible that he (she) and his (her) domicile could come crashing down into mine? Are crows supposed to be that big? Is there an enchanted sorceress nearby that I should be worried about? Are all accessible spindles secure?

~Jello really needs 6 hours to set. If you are desperate, you can eat it in 4 and it’s not awful. Just slimy-er. More slimy. Shouldn’t slimy have an “e” in it? Slimey-er? Whatever. It’s lemon, and I can barely swallow, so do I care?

~Watching my Netflix queue in alphabetical order seems like a fun way to jazz up my day. I watched Anita, a documentary about Anita Hill’s 1991 testimony in the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court vetting. Then I watched The Beautician and The Beast, a classic Fran Drescher film from 1997 which is pretty much The Nanny if Mr. Sheffield were the dictator of a made-up Eastern European country…and played by Timothy Dalton, a.k.a. James Bond. This made for an interesting afternoon. And I wasn’t even taking cough syrup…

~Shoot! I was doing laundry and I wasn’t pay that much attention when I put stuff in the dryer. Why do I even buy stuff that can’t go in the dryer? I wonder if Suki would wear this t-shirt.

~It looks like it might rain. I think I heard thunder. Nope. The neighbors are just dragging their trash cans to the curb. Wait. Nope. Totally thunder.

~I make really poor food choices when I’m sick. In addition to not-fully-formed jello, today I’ve had a bagel, a can of root beer and an apple.

~My horoscope warned me this was coming. It actually said, “Your body will need a break soon.” Why don’t I pay more attention to the stars?!

That’s what I’ve got for you today, Chronics. Maybe by Tuesday I will have more interesting sentences to string together. Happy Weekend! I promise not to sneeze in your general direction.

 

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