So last week I mentioned that I was a little under the weather, that I was “acute sick”, and so my thought process for blog writing was a little scattered. I fully intended on skipping one day of running to sleep in and then being back in fighting form over the weekend.
Except now it’s Tuesday, and I have one heck of a case of bronchitis.
My general physician spontaneously retired last Wednesday, and as I haven’t had a chance to replace him yet, I ended up at my friendly neighborhood Urgent Care center where I wheezed and mimed my way into relaying to a very nice Russian lady doctor that I cannot breathe, I cannot swallow, and I can barely even hear-I am underwater in air. A thorough investigation of my facial orifices resulted in her cluck, clucking at me and exclaiming, “So veddy much inflammation you have!”
Yes, so veddy, veddy much.
She rattled off the remedy: antibiotics, prescription strength cough medicine, steroids.
“I’ll take the antibiotic,” I said.
She looked at me like I had 4 heads.
“No, you need to take all of them.”
I really didn’t think it was that bad. I tried to tell her as much and instead ended up coughing so forcefully I nearly hyperventilated.
“I mean, you go home, take Tylenol if you want to cause your head hurts, you have a symptom,” she says to me. “Or you go home, take all of dis (gesturing to her prescription pad) and you actually get better, yes? I think you do dis.”
Yes, yes, I do dis, I just didn’t understand clearly before, I thought they were options– I mean, my ear canals are swollen. Sue me. I mean, it’s never just a cough and sniffle for me you know? A girl gets overwhelmed.
Oh, yeah. And no running. Because you kind of need to breathe for that.
How many sources of oxygen will you steal from me before you are through, Bronchitis, you monster????!!!
I have to press pause on my medical transcribing class too because I can’t hear very well from the inflammation/clogging, but somehow I am not as upset about that break.
What on earth am I supposed to do with myself for the rest of the week?
Enter: The Best of The Worst TV, Sick Day Edition.
The Kardashians Let’s get the obvious out the way first, shall we? There happens to be a lot to catch up on. I’m not going to lie and pretend that my marathon viewing session yesterday was my first Kardashian rodeo. I mean, I have a chronic illness that regularly incapacitates the thinking portion of my brain. And ok, I kind of love it sometimes. I gawk at their makeup application like I feel like I would gawk at a space alien- pure fascination. And this whole Caitlyn Jenner bit? Amazing. It only took a decade for this reality show to actual start showing some reality.
Teen Mom Having watched Sixteen and Pregnant when it first debuted nearly 7 years ago and having pow-wowed with my friends about it endlessly, I feel a strange interest in paying attention to this season of this show as it follows the “OG,” original girls- Maci, Caitlyn, Amber, and Farrah. Full disclosure: I fast forward through the Farrah parts and most of Amber. But Caitlyn (and Tyler) and Maci are incredibly watchable. It’s weird and cool at the same time to see them as “grown-ups.”
Married at 1st Sight Have you heard of this? Ohmygosh watch it. A group of “experts” (how many “quotes” can one blog post have?) chose 6 people for a social experiment, which is really just an arranged marriage for the purposes of reality TV. They agree to be matched and to marry their match…at first sight. Will they make it to the end of the 6 week experiment period having sustained a wedding, honeymoon, moving in together, celebrating holidays, and getting back to normal day-to-day life in only 42 days with a total stranger? Will they decide to stay married or get divorced? Engrossing, let me tell you.
Unreal This show just started on Lifetime last night and let me tell you, it is SO BAD which means of course that it is SO GOOD. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Like, I’ll tell my blog that I watched this show, but in real life I’ll be all, “Well, I had bronchitis, and I didn’t want to miss any important plot points in that new Ken Burns documentary, so I had to watch this instead…” Essentially, it is a fictional show about a made-up Bachelor-esque reality show. But instead of following the Bachelor or one of the contestants, it follows the feminist producer (just go with it…) who had a meltdown during last year’s finale and is now on some sort of penance-apology tour to get her job back even though she hates it. She happens to be really good at manipulating people, and her boss needs her, so in a part blackmail, part I love it but I hate it move, she starts work on the new season. Having watched approximately 1 episode of the actual Bachelor/Bachelorette show, I can say this seems like pretty much what would actually be happening behind the scenes-because really, how else would you explain it?
Soap Operas I have absolutely no idea what is going on, but it is SERIOUS and people are PASSIONATE about what is HAPPENING right NOW because there is a HURRICANE and the EVIL TWIN of your ex-lover just showed up to CRASH your wedding to your SOULMATE and now everything is RUINED.
Telenovellas The same as above, but in Spanish, and with probably better acting.
Of course, the above are the best of the worst. I didn’t put the Housewives franchise on the list because jeez, I’ve already got a headache ok?
What do you do when you aren’t feeling well and can’t do anything else? I’d love to hear from you!