Step 1: Have your very dark hair highlighted blonde. Accidentally make it vaguely neon because the only thing the girl at the beauty supply shop said when you asked, “Will this make me blonder?” was “Kind of. Sure.” When you return to the store, this ever helpful salesgirl will be happy to sell you toner to fix it, which she conveniently forgot to mention at the outset.
*Nic Note: As I am the spoiled rotten hair-brat of a retired licensed hair professional, I got to do this part at home. You may not get to- highlighting on your own is tricky and not recommended!
Step 2: Do absolutely nothing to it for 6+ months as um, you are a Chronic, and Chronic things are happening, like you are up to your earlobes in Chronic yuck and have to go off your Chronic meds and all of a sudden it’s the New Year and you haven’t looked in a mirror since 2016.
Step 3: Congratulations! Those aren’t 6 inches of neglected roots, but rather carefully crafted ombre skill. You meant to do that. Absolutely. You’re on fleek. Or something. But both your hair and your pop-culture slang are totally up to date and relevant.
Kind of. Sure.